The Story of the Season 2

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A Championship Diary 2000/2001 Part Two - Getting Into Gear

BHB 4 - Warbler 2
( 3rd December 2000,Kesinee,13.30 k.o. )
The day of the top of the table clash between Warblers and the Brazilians, had already been hyped as the pinnacle event of the casuals calendar. The Bullshead in a slump, for slump in your dictionary see haven't lost a game and/or conceded one goal, and the international mercenaries coming off a series of wins. A full strength Brazilians in their familiar yellow lined up against a full strength Warblers in their newest kit incarnation. This was never going to be for the faint hearted. The early exchanges saw BHB go close and Robbo screaming for a penalty, good to see him getting it out of the way early. Shortly after that 'young boy' gets mugged at left back and a pin point cross sees Robbo stay on his feet to spank one into the top corner. But fortune favours the brave, BHB pressure results in an own goal off Lee's shoulder. Half time 1-1
The second half restarts without the worthless welsh winker. In his half time interview he explains that the effort of not diving at the first sniff of the box!!! has drained his energy. It is unknown at this time whether he meant the Sunday game or his Saturday night. The balance of play is even lots of action, Mini Mitchell races through rounds the keeper and only desperate defending keeps the ball out, Frank fires in the rebound again headed off the line, Breenie misses the follow up. Warblers have a time of pressure. The BHB machine move up against a cross leaving two red shirts at the far post, the yellow hands go up as one, strangely the assistant referee has his hands by his side. (2-1) Instant response BHB, a sweeping move, orchestrated by 'Pants' a dream cross and a diving header far post, (2-2) Vessey stoops to conquer. Great stuff in the middle by 'The Belgian' and that 'Fookin Parkin' shows no end product, Warbler clearly missing an outlet for their midfield men, Nat 'Gentleman of Pleasure' and 'Pants' start to dominate and pass their way through the midfield, from one of these moves BHB get a freekick edge of the box. The situation calls for a left foot screamer to the top corner. 'Pants' steps to the plate, draws back the renowned left peg, and pearolls the ball into the corner under Lees foot. Warbler don't know whether to laugh or cry, BHB whether to laugh or ...well laugh. (3-2) The introduction of 'Tim 7ft tall aussie bloke' tightens the defence and Warblers look likely to snatch a draw building from a firm base. BHB soak up the pressure and counter attack, 'Pants' feeds 'Mitchell' whose pace takes him down the field outstripping the pursuit, only one man can keep up, with the elegant stride pattern reminiscent of Carlton Palmer,Bambi and Roadrunner combined, yours truly provides an outlet, a pacy cross, beats the last defender, one touch, one swivel, one despairing dive courtesy of 'Brooksie' ...Goodnight Warbler pick that one out. Final score BHB 4 -2 Warbler
Man of the match:Nick Smart
Scorers: BHB Jim Vessey, Nick Smart, Junior Bradshaw;Warblers Lee (o.g.) Robbo and some Thai lad.
- Junior

Chatree and the comedy Bruce Lee wig.

BHB 0 - Soho 0
(17th Dec. 2000,Kesinee,13.30 k.o.)
Last game before Christmas and everyone had their minds on turkey and mince pies.Then we all turned up for an infamous '13.30 kick off' at Kesinee,and it wasn't very Christmassy at all.Warm enough to melt your Mr Whippy '99' cone and the flake as well in about 3 milliseconds. Despite threatening to guest star most of the Cameroon Olympic heroes and some bloke from Ghana,Yamine fielded a normal looking line up,and the Bullys had a squad missing only Junior B and anyone that had ever played left back.So can someone tell me why then ensuing eighty minutes or so of football could not produce a goal ? F**ked if I know. A few bits of action,a few goal chances missed,this was a yawn-fest.It got so desperate even Yamine had to drag himself of the bench and to try and break the deadlock.I personally was quite glad I didn't see most of the game,being blinded by a river of sweat in the eyes. Seeing as there were no noticable signs of the mythical being known as 'Striker' present,most contented themselves with either :
a) annoying the ref enough to get booked,or
b) annoying the f**k out of the manager(myself) by offering gems of their amazing football acumen throughout the game(ie "get him off he's shit" etc etc),or
c) both of the above.
Pretty good timing for the mid-season break as everyone was a tad jaded.
Man of the Match:Me (for putting up with so much bullsh*t from the lads.)
- Will

BHB 2 - Unocal 1
( Saturday 7th Jan. 2001,Ministry of Health,16.00 k.o. )
1st week back saw some turkey laden Brazilians making there weary and drink sodden way to the ministry pitch. Many thanking their personal gods that a:- it wasn't a 1:30 kick off and b:- the sun wasn't blazing down.The match got under way and it soon became apparent that Unocal hadn't been very festive over the holiday season. Very much a case of industrious ants versus sleeping elephant.BHB enjoyed some early pressure which was odd because the ability to play a 5yard pass was obviously wrapped up and still under the tree.A sweeping move orchestrated by the man Forbes saw Unocal go ahead with a finely taken goal. The BHB juggernaut finally started to gather momentum and a through ball saw the fleet footed Chatree break free for a one on one with the Unocal keeper. The grinch laughing in the stands with Chatters scoring boots watched him take 3 touches too many and the keeper save point blank. The Unocal keeper made a string of fine saves from BHB corners. Headers from Chatree and Junior being held or flicked over the bar. Half time 0-1
The second half saw Unocal playing much more the attractive football, looking like gaining their 1st win of the season and inflicting BHB's 1st defeat. Unocal with a couple of opportunities to send the yellow down hit the post and the bar.Martin looked like scoring the goal of the season with a mazy run at full pace that saw him weave between six count 'em six players until Rab nonchalantly dispossessed him edge of the box. Ball to the back stick by Junior beats the offside and sees Gavin and Chatters fail to contact anything but each other.10 minutes to go it's all end to end stuff, gripping and riveting, Nick Kemp's Mam said so...ball over the top from Smart. Rab excellent thus far misjudges the bounce, Junior in like a whippet volleys home from 20 yards. Brazilians celebrate like crazy, it might be another draw but we'll take it is the sentiment. Last 5 minutes another good run by Martin, shot blocked, Junior 1st to the rebound, magical turn around Forbes' desperate lunge, drifts past two others, tucks it in the corner, Unocal stunned, Bullshead Brazillians still unbeaten.
Scorers:Junior x 2
Man of the match:- Junior- anonymous for 60 minutes hero for 10
- Junior

BC 1 BHB 2
( Sunday 21st January,Colgate,16.00 k.o. )
Sunday morning saw 2 of the most influential and revered players in the casuals? league still down in Pattaya. After tipping the cleaning ladies and a light breakfast, Poole and Junior set off for a leisurely amble up the express way looking forward to their respective games. The day had dawned bright and crisp with a mere hint of rain in the air, a great day for football at Colgate's well tended immaculate "bowling green" pitch. BCC looking resplendent in their red kit had much the better 1st half and the deadlock was duly broken when Mel sauntered past Forrest and squared the ball into the six-yard box. Chris Power beating BeerSingha to the ball and diverting home in style. A combination of Mel's grit and graft and Avi's flair kept BCC dominant throughout the half. BHB efforts limited to ineffectual long-range pot shots. Gavin was unfortunate to suffer a broken leg after a tackle in the corner. Halftime 1-0
BigWillyWatts exhorted his team to try a bit harder in the 2nd half and perhaps meet the ball, play a pass and take some more decisive actions, reminding them that, there were indeed substitutes available if anyone was a bit jaded. The talk seemed to work and the play was evenly matched, Nat and Junior worked well to deny the BCC any luxuries they had previously had. BHB started to turn the screw and had BCC on the backfoot for a succession of corners. One corner eventually leading to the equaliser when Nat found Junior lurking about a foot above Mel for an unstoppable header into the corner. The game flowed end to end with no clear advantage, Chatree deluded and deceived by the pitch failed to pivot around Bruce in goal and convert a one-on-one chance (deja-vu)... A Nat free kick from 25 yards out cannoning off Clive put BHB in front. BCC fought back well playing with great aplomb that belied their current league placing, but as is often the case getting caught by counter attacks. A late throw in, launched long into the box by Nat, was inadvertently flicked on by an under pressure Clive, falling to Frank who easily converted into the empty net. This report written by Enid Blyton as Junior currently sulking at not getting man of the match.
Scorers:BCC Chris Power... BHB Junior Bradshaw, Clive og, and Frank
Man of the Match Nat -- did some running, took some throws and corners...
- Enid Blyton

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Nik (the artist formerly known as..).